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Family of God - Devotional Topics
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Christian Self - Image
Bird feeders are strategically placed around our backyard so that we may enjoy our colorful, feathered friends. At times we hang up a seed covered suet ball to attract even more color. It isn’t long, however, before the big, pesky starlings find that ball and peck away at it mercilessly, reducing it to nothing in no time at all.
The world’s standards
The "starlings" of this world also peck away mercilessly at our own and especially our children’s self-image. They come in the persons of classmates, neighborhood kids and older brothers and sisters who thrive on teasing our children about any imperfections they might have. They take the shape of advertisements, toys and beauty contests which show a world of perfection that you and I will never achieve. And unfortunately these "starlings" even come in the form we call "parents."
With innocent statements such as, "Doesn’t he have the prettiest brown eyes?" "She is the smartest in the class," we are telling our children that these are the things that really count and make one great. One look in the mirror might show our child that he has big ears, or imperfect teeth and in no way matches up. He knows he may never be top in the class no matter how hard he works.
How many of us haven’t unthinkingly made statements such as these to others, in the presence of our children: "Susie hates to practice piano," "Johnny always spills his mild," "Molly is constantly falling over her own feet," It’s like someone telling us to our face, "You never do that right," "Your yard looks terrible," "You walk like a cow." Not too uplifting, is it!
God’s standards
Through baptism our children are recreated "in his image" (Genesis 1:27). They are very important to our Savior. They certainly are our most important possession. It is our duty to uphold the Commandments and "impress them on" our children (Deuteronomy 6:7). Children need to know that, though they are sinners, Jesus loves them and "the Kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these" (Matthew 19:14). They need to know that, though the "starlings" of the world peck away at them, they are "people belonging to God" (1 Peter 2:9). The Lord would have us bring up our children with a good feeling about themselves, a good self-image.
Positive approach
But how? How can we chase off the "starling" attitude within us? We parents, above anyone else, need to follow the Lord’s example and not "look at the outward appearance" but "at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). Children’s self-image develops from day one of their life in what they see, hear and feel. Maintain a positive attitude toward your children at all times, at home or in public. It doesn’t call for mere words of flattery which may produce self-centered brats; but it does mean positive statements even about minor achievements.
It’s like the piano teacher after a complete disaster on a solo coming up with, "You had your feet placed just perfectly!" Or the mother who says, "You poured your glass of milk without spilling one drop." Or Dad complimenting with, "Thanks for opening the garage door when you saw that my arms were full.
Time and attention
Don’t allow a fast-pace lifestyle to tell your children they aren’t important enough for your complete attention. Answer their questions with thought and concern. Take time to listen carefully to problems and help them to positive solutions. Sit down and share any events of the day which they may be willing of offer. Let them feel, "My day and feelings are important to Mom."
Attempt to give all siblings equal concern and attention. Favoritism, no matter how slight, may tell a child he isn’t as important to you as the others. Since personalities within a family can be so very different, this is a major task for parents.
Discipline
"He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). A child who is disciplined with love when needed will have better feelings about himself than one who gets away with everything. How often don’t we hear that the child in trouble will say, "My parents never cared what I did!" Do you care? Then punish your children for disobedience and wrong doing. Realize and understand that they will make mistakes and have accidents as we all do, but when there’s clear disobedience of your rules and God’s laws, don’t spare the rod. Show your children, "I care enough to keep you on the right track."
Summary
Finally, if your children feel entirely loved, respected and accepted by you, their parents, they can more easily go out and face the "starlings" of the world which peck away at their self-image. Then our children will be more likely to achieve in the things they try, according to their God-given abilities. Isn’t that what we want for our children? Isn’t that what the Lord would have us do for our children? So commit yourself to that love, respect and acceptance just as "God so loved the world" (John 3:16).
Something to think about
Carefully examine your attitude toward your children. Be completely honest with yourself. If it is out of line in any way, think of how you might improve that attitude.
Think over the past week. Have all your comments to them, and especially in front of others, been positive? Try to catch yourself in the next negative response and turn it around right there and then.
Does your life style allow time that includes the children? If not, give careful thought to possible changes.
How is the discipline in your house? Do you need the encouragement of Proverbs 23:13,14? Are you fair and consistent so the children feel the love and security they deserve?
Prayer
My patient, loving Savior, thank you for the beautiful children with which you have blessed me. Please keep my lips and heart always ready with positive responses to their needs. Aid me in helping them build good feelings about themselves and give them an ever-growing love for you. I pray in your name. Amen.
The Family of God series is copyright © 1985 Northwestern Publishing House. and is published under the auspices of PACE (Partners Advancing Christian Education), Wisconsin Lutheran High School Conference, Milwaukee, WI. Reprinted by permission.
Northwestern Publishing House
1250 N 113th Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA 53226-3284
Phone: 1-800-662-6022
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