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Discipline
Children are gifts from God - gifts of immeasurable value. God issues a directive to accompany these gifts. It reads, " ...bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).
Children come into this world with their sinful nature intact. They come with a strong sense of self-centeredness. How, then, are parents to carry out the awesome responsibility of bringing children up in the Lord - leading them along the path of Christian living?
Christian living, the art of applying God’s Word to one’s daily decisions and actions, must be taught. To accomplish this for their children, parents must discipline. They need to take loving action to turn their children away from sinning.
A permissive society and an overemphasis on children’s’ rights often hinder the efforts of Christians to discipline their children. Despite these influence, allegiance to God and love for their children will impel parents to push forward. With God’s guidance, it can be done. Here are ways to put Christian discipline into practice:
- Show your children the perfect model of Christians living - Jesus Christ. Regularly guide them to ask, "What would Jesus do?" Then lead them to the Bible to find the answer.
- Take control. You are in charge. Lead; don’t drive. Remember your goal is to develop self-discipline, not just to prevent misbehavior. Rather than fall into the trap of threatening or overreacting, set clear expectations. Then develop and communicate clear consequences - negative consequences for unacceptable behavior and positive consequences for acceptable behavior. It is important to enforce consistently, reducing your involvement proportionately as self-discipline develops.
- Practice self-control. Don’t discipline to satisfy your personal desire to vent your frustration. "Preach the Word ... correct, rebuke and encourage - with great patience and careful instruction" (2 Timothy 4:2). Always act in love and concern for you children.
- Develop mutual respect. Parents must give respect in order to receive it. God instructs children to obey their parents (Colossians 3:20), but he also directs parents to refrain from embittering or discouraging their children (Colossians 3:21). Trust your children; let them see that you have confidence in their ability to make Christ-centered decisions. Give them a chance to fail. Guide them lovingly with the Word when they do. Let your children see you as you are, a sinful human being. Admit your own weaknesses and sin, and serve as a model of Christian repentance.
- Finally, spend time with your children. Rather than waiting for crises to develop, use preventive measures. Be there. Spend quality time with your children. Listen. Know their vision as will as your own. Don’t assume you know. Use sincere praise. Find some quality to admire in every child and let him or her know you appreciate that quality. Do everything you can to keep the channels of communication wide open.
Many parents today fail to discipline their children. They often do this in the name of love. But God says, "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). Therefore Christian parents will discipline. In love. Prayerfully. Confident that this is God’s loving will for children.
Some Suggestions
- Spend informal individual time with each child at least once a week.
- Give your children opportunity to be responsible. Very young children can put away their toys when they are finished playing. Expect them to take some responsibility, increasing the amount as age and maturity allow.
- Evaluate your personal priorities. Allow ample unpressured time to provide for discipline needs. Allow time to plan calmly and to implement discipline policies.
- Begin daily home devotions. Depending on the children’s ages, use children’s devotional books or the Meditations booklet (available from Northwestern Publishing House, see address below). Set aside meal time or some other convenient time for regular devotions. This is an excellent structured way to share Jesus, our perfect model, with your children.
- Let you children see that you respect their taste and opinions. Why not let them choose the paint color for their room?
Something to think about
- What are some examples of Jesus living a Christian life which would be helpful to share with our children?
- In Colossians 3:21 God tells us, "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged." What are some ways in which parents "embitter" and "discourage" their children?
- We often hear that children don’t show respect toward their parents. In what ways do parents sometimes show a lack of respect for their children?
- What factors make it difficult for parents to exercise self-control when disciplining their children?
- Why is it important to be consistent in carrying out discipline?
- What changes can I make in my priorities to allow more time for my children?
Prayer
Be with me, Lord. I feel so responsible for the spiritual welfare of my children. The task of keeping them close to you is a mountain I can’t seem to climb. I often feel like giving up. Remind me that you are always there - stronger and wiser than I can ever hope to be. Remind me to lean on you - to rely on your strength and wisdom. Remind me that with you all things are possible. Thank you, Lord. I won’t give up. I can keep going now. Grant me the loving, caring heart necessary to discipline my children wisely. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
The Family of God series is copyright © 1985 Northwestern Publishing House. and is published under the auspices of PACE (Partners Advancing Christian Education), Wisconsin Lutheran High School Conference, Milwaukee, WI. Reprinted by permission.
Northwestern Publishing House
1250 N 113th Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA 53226-3284
Phone: 1-800-662-6022
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